oh god the rape fog is back!
it hurts more in the daytime
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
