these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
