nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
