at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
