Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
