Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
