Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
