Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
