You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize