thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
