I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
