I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
