i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
