Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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