I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
