he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
