I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
