wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we made out on top of his cat.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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