I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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