I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
