So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
