glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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