bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
