I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize