the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
