Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Soap is not a condiment
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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