At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize