need another drink. this is the easiest way
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize