I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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