That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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