$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
