I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
