My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
