I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I deserve this hangover.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
