Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize