she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
