Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
