So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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