yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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