Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
