I think I just saw someone hide a body.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize