I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
high people should be assigned attendants
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
