after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i believe in u and ur pee
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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