I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
