I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
