I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize