She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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