I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize