at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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