So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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