Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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