it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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