Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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