...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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