Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
