i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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