so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
