Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
