Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
