I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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