living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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