Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
