Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
